Web 57DHYAFZZFLZD August 11 2026 The Hamlet of Hallmark
The Hamlet of Hallmark runs a fireplace installation operation
Without irony in the Hamlet of Hallmark selling polluting creations
He is a creep and he sings the Creep song with bars of C B C and C minor
Over and over again as he stares at the bars of the fire screen or
Breaks the trance to stare out his door at the return of the town siren
Daughter of the chief rival of his fireplace and woodburning stove vending!
Dora Fresh Air Door who with her brother Open “Opie” Door went into Win
Farms and made their millions in that field until shut out by the current evil
Administration in cahoots with Oil and Gas lobbies in the nation’s capital!
Dora approaches and exclaims “Your open door is letting your wood smoke
Out and into our yard and infiltrating our home! As near neighbor with a PM
Two point Five monitor hanging from our eaves we have enough data to claim
You as the sole source of the air pollution in our Hamlet!” Twirling his moustache,
Hamlet exclaims in traditional loyal opposition “I’m not tying you to any railroad tracks!”
“Don’t paint me as the enemy, I have enough problems! I am wracked
With misgivings about continuing in my family business. You had a clean break
When your fireworks factory exploded and wiped out half your family
The other half was propelled out of this hick town and into the big time of Win Farming!
I had no such reason to leave this Hamlet and no big tragedy to give me a reason
To find a new line of work and leave the chainsaw cutting of wood for the cold seasons!”
Dora plants her dainty foot among the climbing arbors of grapes and sidesteps
The Cranberry bog that scenically is nurtured near the Hamlet front steps
Her voice is like a siren when she speaks again! “Your Cranberry crop is being tainted
By wood smoke and the Cranberry Juice product is surely undrinkable! Even Sainted
And unworldly Residents of this Hamlet will reject the Cranberry Juice not to mention
The potential customer of Cranberry Juice out in the wide world. Just as your wood stoves
Are past their prime and replaced by Heat Pumps that function as air conditioners that have
Also the main function of heating homes although they are used less as temperatures increase!
Do you want to continue to be part of an obsolete heating method that caused your father’s decease?”
Hamlet explodes and doubles down on his opposition to all the newfangled notions of his rival
“My father died of lung cancer which could be attributable to the wildfire wood smoke which was vital
In causing his asthma to begin with which lingered and lingered until replaced by lung cancer.
I stay in this Hamlet and vend wood burning stoves in his name and am still a tap dancer!”
Dora smiles bitterly and remarks “Yes, we grew up tap dancing together and have those memories!”
“If only the rat a tat of our footsteps was not interrupted by coughing fits from wood smoke!”
Hamlet asks tentatively, “Are you offering to be my partner in one more tap dance at least?”
Dora answers “Leave your polluting profession! My brother could offer you a Heat Pump store lease!”
Hamlet says yes, and the fated couple twirl and tap in unison, now completely at ease.
But Hamlet breaks the comforting silence and begins humming chords of C B C and C minor
Dora shrieks and finally cries out in answer “Farming can be done even under Win turbine cover!”