Webisode 57DHYAFZZFLHS March 21 2026 Some Like It Cold The Musical
Some Like It Cold The Musical
Act 1 Setting the Scene in scenic and warmish
Southern Wisconsin evoked by a harpist
In Southern Wisconsin feminists cool
Their heels on stage with a harpsichord
They penned these songs. This is their reward.
“The Canaries” warble about Electric Cars
“E Vees will get you from where you are
To either Coast in record time with naught
PM 2 point 5 from a gas polluting exhaust!”
The coffee shop audience loudly applauds!
The Canaries accept plaudits and carry on!
“Our next number is about polluting wood smoke
We hope in this clean air coffee shop we can evoke
The horror of breathing unnecessary wood smoke
A nearby indoor residential wood burner uncloaked!”
Piano accompanist run up the scale to high C!
Harpist please follow the piano with bluesy D!
“PM 2 point 5 from burning wood is equivalently equal
Whether the wood is from ancient forest primeval
Or from young trees in their prime cut down.
Both emit the same PM 2 point 5 when burned down!”
The big city intellectuals in the audience nod in unison
They understand the conundrum of these rhyming women
The Ecological and Environmental message combined
Has the heft of issues torn from the headlines inside
Their coffeehouse leftist tracts espouse saving the earth
All prepare for the advent of Spring and Day of the Earth
But hark! Canary 1 namely Upper Register spies a man, He uh,
is across the street in a van emblazoned “Wood Stove Mania
From Heaven” “We guarantee Cozy along with Careless Abandon”
Guaranteeing that he is indeed a vendor of renewable air pollution
Truth in Advertising, not on my life, Buddy, mutters Upper Register!
The highest register Canary jots down a plan for both choristers
Lower Register is at the cash register, paying for a coffee to goer
She does not register the presence of the van, also a gas guzzler!
Upper Register almost cries out in pain, envisioning the wood smoke
That will follow their refrains inside the coffee house as wood smoke
Seeps in from across the street emissions PM 2 point 5
The possibility is unnerving, she prays, and then hits on a lifeline
Upper Register heads out to the street in order to overhear avidly
Any sales patter and meetings to seal the polluting deal in what locality
The deal for sale of the wood stove is to be struck at a convention
In Northern Wisconsin at a resort where Wood Smoke Lobby Nation
men convene to plan their air pollution, engaging
Two of the newest generation seeking to evade caging
Themselves to responsibility for the air pollution of wood burning
They like the word cozy evoking BBC mysteries and have a yearning
To just act like a woodsman even if they are miles from Northern Wisconsin
Buying a wood stove or two at a resort convention in Northern Wisconsin
And bringing it home to be homey with their homely British inflected girlfriends
Will prove the females they inflict air pollution on pass the test of enduring their hobbies
They might even become vendors themselves and learn the tricks of wood stove lobbies
Act 2 Setting the Scene in scenic and colder
Northern Wisconsin evoked by cold shoulders
In Northern Wisconsin feminists cool
Their heels on stage with guitar chords
They penned these songs. This is their reward.
They wear flannel shirts and their hair is bunched
Up in man buns and falsely mustached
They could pass for males of the North Wooded
They are nonchalant like they have the goods.
They shoulder up to the stage, amid hoots!
“The Everlasting Brothers” praise Gas powered Cars
“Gasoline will get you from where you are
To either Coast in record time with naught
The heaviness of caring about gas polluting exhaust!”
The rowdy audience loudly applauds!
The Bros accept plaudits and carry on!
“Our next number is about polluting wood smoke
We hope in this mechanics’ shop we can evoke
The horror of breathing unnecessary wood smoke
You all remember the June twenty-twenty three yoke
The wildfire a mile away takes a toll
You know the coziness is out of control!”
The Bass player runs down middle to low C!
The drummer clashes with us! I give him a D!
“PM 2 point 5 from burning wood is equivalently equal
Whether the wood is from ancient forest primeval
Or from young trees in their prime cut down.
Both emit the same PM 2 point 5 when burned down!”
The small town lobbyists in the audience are feeling woozy
They think these “male” entertainers are not cozy
The Ecological and Environmental message combined
Has the heft of issues torn from the headlines inside
At their mechanics shop no one espouses saving the earth
All prepare for the advent of Spring and mourn the hearth
Which is meant for burning wood upon
Has no real use and is shut for the season
But hark! Bro number 1 namely Upper Register spies Buddy, He uh,
Is tearing up the leaflet titled “Wood Stove Mania
From Heaven” “We guarantee Cozy along with Careless Abandon”
Guaranteeing that he is reconsidering renewable air pollution
Truth in Advertising, not on my life, Buddy, mutters the former buyer!
Buddy is at the cash register, paying for a rocket fuel to goer
The highest register “Bro” swoops in and makes Buddy an offer
Besides convincing him to buy an E Vee not another gas guzzler!
Buddy almost cries out in pain, envisioning the wood smoke
That he was on the verge of buying like all the other hoke
Um of the Wood Smoke lobbyist who like wood smoke
Seeped into his gullible mind like emissions of PM 2 point 5
The possibility is unnerving, he delays, and then hits on a lifeline
Buddy heads out to the street to chew out the lobbyist avidly
Ignoring further sales patter meant to seal the polluting deal in this locality
No deal for sale of the wood stove is to be struck at this convention
In Northern Wisconsin at a resort where Wood Smoke Lobby Nation
Men convene to plan their air pollution, engaging
No one from the newest generation seeking to evade caging
Themselves to responsibility for the air pollution of wood burning
Act 3 Mothers in England made Public Service announcements themselves
Asking wealthy wood burners doing it for aesthetic reasons themselves
To think of wood burning as Careless rather than Cozy
The lobbyists pursued lawsuits to stop the less than rosy
Picture mothers painted of wood burning by Aesthetes
In England wood burning lobbyists have real money in the game
Of pushing polluting wood burning on those who are amateurs
And have no reason to burn wood except, like fox hunters
Want to establish a perimeter bound by useless activity
Since even if the measurement is Centigrade in Mercury
It rarely reaches the depths of cold as in the US
And only causes unnecessary respiratory distress
Lobbyists in England used the word cozy evoking BBC mysteries and yearning
To just act like a woodsmen even if they are miles from Northern Wisconsin
Buying a wood stove or two at a resort convention in Northern Wisconsin
And bringing it home to be homey with their homely British girlfriends
To explain, homely in England, means the same thing as homey in the US
So these men are putting real English rose beauty queens to the test
And will no longer inflict air pollution to see if these beauties pass the test
of enduring their hobbies. Through transparency English Men now have
a fighting chance to say no to polluting the air. Women gave
Their men the gift of clean air if the men can grasp it
Our saga across two countries ends as we began it.
Through the Freedom of Information Act lobbyist tactics were exposed
Will men continue to be exploited by a hobby that is just a pose?